In this book, dealing with relationships in general, irrespective of gender, my approach has been to put the reader back in touch with what it means to have genuine fun. The implications within this approach are far more poignant than such an approach may appear to indicate at first glance, but if there is one thing in common between men and women, then it lies in the fact that we have all been taught since infancy to look upon life as a most serious affair, with the result that very few of us have ever learned to laugh at our never-ending folly as human beings. So instead of looking upon life as a fun-filled adventure, men and women alike set about striving to find and experience that elusive happiness that is meant to bring them lasting joy, all too often with a grim determination that is the very antithesis of happiness, and a lack of humour that defies the very meaning of any sense of joy. Consequently I made the decision to take a fun approach, with the result that technicalities in this part of the book are either ignored or else brushed over, for as we all know, fun is dependent upon feeling, rather than juggling intellectual concepts.

Furthermore, I have placed the accent throughout this book, not on those huge boulders which are clear for everyone to see, but on those tiny irritating little pebbles which cause most of us to stumble and fall, simply because, being so apparently insignificant, we did not even see them to start with. In this respect, think for a moment; how many times a day do you have a car accident? But how many times a day do you have an "accident" with another person by inadvertently putting your foot in it and then, by trying to extricate yourself, you only seem to dig yourself in deeper?

Looking at the above from another perspective, this book is all about that concept known as Shifting the Focus. The implications within this fundamental concept are best explained in the following aphorism:

We choose to be happy, or we choose to be miserable, but in both instances the amount of effort required is the same.

This is a concept of vital importance, for few people ever come to realize that much of their unhappiness within life is caused by a conscious choice - the choice to hold onto the idea that our happiness is dependent upon circumstances and conditions beyond our control. And yet, as will be made clear in this book, it is perfectly within the scope and the abilities of each of us to change our lives into whatever we would like our lives to be.