People fear conflict instead of welcoming it. This does not mean that you must go around picking a fight with all and sundry, but it does mean that when conflict does arise of its own accord, then you should not run away from it, but face it, own it and use it to your advantage.
To put this in a nutshell, “If your picture doesn’t match my picture, then it means that somewhere we are both missing a connecting link“, and that missing link is without fail new knowledge.

Conflict cannot be avoided, for it is necessary in order to learn how to practice intelligent co-operation, and it is only through practicing intelligent co-operation that new knowledge can be acquired.

From the quote above it is obvious how important it is to handle conflict – and the enormous role it plays in our lives. Yet, is also obvious that the usual notion and approach to conflict is rather limiting, to say the least!

Let me share a practical example from my life of how I handle conflict:

Because of my job I travel often. After I flew back home last time from my Far East travel I fell very ill due to the exhaustion of sleepless days and nights and the long journey. I could not move, my whole body ached and I had a very high temperature.

At the same time there was a lot of pressure coming from my parents and directed at me because of a lack on my part to be a “normal“ man having a normal family and children. Being physically exhausted coupled with the frustration of my parents created conflict in me.

I did not submit to the conflict by externalising it, but held the tension and patiently waited while working with the tensions and tending to my health.

At the same time whilst keeping myself open to guidance, a friend of mine came to visit me. We had a time of quality together as I was quite attentive, and was naturally careful and somehow delicate mannered. In the conversation we had, finally the new knowledge for me was revealed – and the penny dropped!

The new knowledge for me was related to giving myself time, all the while paying attention to the little things!

After that, as it should be, the tension between myself and my parents was gone! I was paying attention without hurrying, whilst doing everyday little things and just being with my parents, and they were enjoying my presence, with no demands! 🙂

Let us claim the New Knowledge by welcoming the Conflict in our lives – and be intelligent about it!

Onnik Merdinyan
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